Another amazing new song from LP…
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16Nov
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09Nov
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It’s amazing the power of music as I have said many times. This is the new LP song, Waiting for the End….It reminds me of the past and for some reason it is helping me with closure of the past. A sad thought, bittersweet and this song tells it all.
All I want to do is trade this life for something new…holding on to what I haven’t got…Picking up the pieces, now where to begin? The hardest part of ending is starting again.
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01Nov
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It’s amazing how one word, one phrase, one action can take you back to a moment in time like it was yesterday. Sometimes old wounds and hurt can still feel fresh and new…and the pain you try hard to forget, move on and look past can come rushing back.I remember being at a point in my life where I was ready, willing and able to give everything up for something I truly believed was right and worth fighting and dying for. Every bone in my body and every breath of my soul…I was willing to do the necessary things and risk everything because it was the right thing to do in order to see if I deserved what I was longing for in the end. But the ending didn’t go as I had hoped for and I’ve come to realize that what we want sometimes so badly with all our heart and soul can never be.
I spent endless nights crying over everything wrong that happened, everything wrong that I did and also what maybe I did not do enough of. Perhaps in the end, I really wasn’t deserving of what I had hoped for. I abused myself…body…mind….and soul during this time…justifying the pain with the wrongs I have done. Still the suffering I felt wasn’t enough…perhaps I needed to suffer more.
It took me a long time to crawl out of the darkened abyss of self-pity, loathing, hating and near death to realize that what’s done is done. I’ve done everything within my power to prove myself, but sometimes that just isn’t enough. Especialy when it involves someone you love. It takes two to make things work and it takes the other person to willingly take the same risks again and meet you halfway.
Sometimes I still find myself on the edge of that hole, tettering and on the verge of falling back in. I know that the scars are always going to be there. There’s still a part of me that seeks closure…a closure I know that will never be grant for me, but something I must do for myself. It’s a matter of self-healing. There’s still a part of me mindfully toying with foolish, bohemian hope that maybe in this sometimes forsaken world that what we truly believe will come true.
When you experiencing loving someone so much that you feel lost without them and that there is no chance in hell that it will ever be again….that truly leaves scars. The silver lining left is for you to find peace within yourself and hope the other person does too. The ultimate test of love is letting go…..letting another person find happiness and wishing them well, even if in the end…it’s not with you.
