Is it sometimes better just to say what you feel or keep your mouth shut? Often times I find myself wishing I just didn’t say anything at all, in hopes to avoid some disasterous miscommunication.
Lately, I’ve been finding myself in isolation. Not getting along with some of the people closest to my heart.
You ever feel that way? Sometimes the people closest to you are the ones you feel the most distance from?
The first time I ever read one of Sidney Sheldon’s books was back in 1993, when an old employee of my mom gifted me with a bundle of books because she moved away. One of the books she recommended I read first was Memories of Midnight. That was the first book that started it all. Sheldon has a way of writing thse fictional tales of suspense and mystery with simple articulation and entertainment.
Through the years, I went through reading all his titles and looked forward to reading any new ones that were published. It was sad to find that Sheldon had passed away last year….but left behind one last book due out August 2009: Mistress of the Game.Which I intend on reading.
I dunno what brought him to mind as a topic to post, but I suppose it’s one of those senseless sense of accomplishment that I can say I read every book an author has written. LOL
I grew up without braces and with the most crooked of smiles. I remember it was 4th grade when it dawned on me that I had a really knarly smile. Looking back at class photos, my full-on, all teeth smiles ended in 3rd grade. I guess this was when I discovered what embarrassment and shame was.
Embarrassment is defined by some dictionaries as the state of self-conscious distress, or as the shame you feel when your inadequacy or guilt is made public. Shame is defined as a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety, or as a condition of humiliating disgrace.
I realize that before 4th grade, I didn’t pay much attention to not having straight teeth until my adult teeth grew in – crooked. From that point forward, all the way through early college years – I went through life with awkward smiles. It wasn’t until the end of my undergraduate career that I just decided to smile again. Who cares, right?
While being younger i subconsciously blamed my parents for not making it a priority to helping me get braces…the more rational side of me sees why. IT’S FUCKING EXPENSIVE.
It wasn’t until 15 months ago that I decided to make my own financial investment in adult braces. with 6 more months remaining, I have this underlying feeling that I bought into the pursuit of perfection.While I am excited to finally have the straight teeth that my younger self longed for, part of me misses the old profile.
Ironically, my smile is more awkward with braces than it ever was originally. Go figure.
You know how we have the list of things we want to do before we die (or turn 30)? I remember one of them being skydiving…at least on my list anyway.
It just so happens a girlfriend of mine is doing hers in celebration of her Dirty Thirty and has invited me along. Being that this would be a premature celebration on my part…I am seriously considering it. When else would I get to do this, and who the heck would jump out of a plane with me if I decide to do it later?
This morning I woke up and thought to myself…wow am I really going to do this? Will I pee my pants in the process? Should I do 60 or 90 seconds of tandem free-falling? Hmmm 90 seconds is a LONG time…but if you are going to do it just once…..